


Am I? I am

by RaccoonEyedNerd



Series: Raccoon's love anthology and other tales [1]
Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, I didn't hold back with the cheesyness, I just felt like writing happy things, SO MUCH FLUFF, it gets all poetic at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2019-01-18 14:03:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12389565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaccoonEyedNerd/pseuds/RaccoonEyedNerd
Summary: Mina: DoubtsMomo: DoesTzuyu: KnowsSana: conda





	Am I? I am

**Author's Note:**

> Just an idea I got while daydreaming at work, tell me if you likey?
> 
> I like to put songs on the stuff I write so, here ya go:  
> FXXK IT-BIGBANG  
> I'm yours - Alessia Cara  
> Some - Bolbbalgan4
> 
> or
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/user/agam94/playlist/3EuRninbPVBAyrirvoDyDe

Mina frowned, confused by everything; a part of her seriously wanted to pull her own hair because she didn’t get why, why was she so infatuated? Why every single thing that girl did earned an exaggerated reaction almost immediately? This definitively wasn’t Mina, no, Mina was always focused on whatever task she was involved at the time, she never reacted so randomly at seemingly pointless things.

 

But why does Momo have to be so… _Momo?_

 

She grumbled as silently as she could, sitting on the couch while watching the rest of the J-line plus Tzuyu were messing around in an impromptu karaoke session while the other members were away, and god knew Mina was trying to keep the smiles at bay, because no one on their five senses could smile so much because of mumbling and gibberish.

 

Sana’s high pitched voice and winks full of aegyo coming on her way served her as an excuse, maybe if she allowed herself to smile a little bit more, the other three girls would think it was because of the chance of being together by themselves and not because of freaking Momo trying to rap as fast as she could and going from failing miserably to finally fill the spaces in the instrumental with a language Mina knew she just had come up with.

 

They danced around the couch and Sana hugged her from the back, taking her arms and moving them with the beat, they even got the lights off and put on the ‘disco lights’ to make everything even more fun, as Sana assured them; Mina was just glad they wouldn’t be able to see her reddened cheeks every time Momo looked at her and winked while singing.

 

Goddamn Momo and those stupid things she did, making her heart beat faster and her silence even more evident, because Mina was sure that if she tried to talk, she would stutter or say things that should be buried deep inside of her mind.

 

She just let Sana control her body from that point, making her get up and jump, turn and dip and jump a little more, loud chuckles escaping them while Momo passionately sang another song by BIGBANG and Tzuyu lost it because Momo was something else, down on her knees, with her head thrown back and her arms spread like she was ending a solo concert.

 

If Mina was honest to herself, she was fascinated by Momo and everything she was and wasn’t; her round and always confused eyes, capable of conveying so many things that made her feel frustrated because she just couldn’t decipher them all, or decipher why did she like those eyes so much; she was wary at the beginning, but with that smile, Mina didn’t even got time to react before she was falling heads over heels for the other girl.

 

She blamed the darkness, blamed the songs and blamed Sana for suggesting a private karaoke session at home; the mic –actually a hairbrush- passed from Momo to Sana and Mina found herself on the former girl arms, dancing again.

 

Her heart was beating faster, meeting the tempo of the song.

 

Mina was sure it was because of the dancing.

 

It definitively wasn’t Momo’s cute Japanese accent, praising her after ever dance move the ballerina could execute without tripping for being distracted.

 

The music changed then and Sana jumped on the sofa,

 

“I love this song! Minarin, you got to sing with me.” Sana squealed.

 

Mina considered hating that song and delete it from whatever device she was able to put her hands on, it was way too relatable; it seemed like Alessia Cara was actually targeting Mina and singing the same exact things that came across her mind every time something involved Momo.

 

So the usually elegant and composed girl decided to do the most intelligent and wise thing to do considering the situation.

 

She put her hands on Momo’s arms, looked into her eyes, and started singing to a very oblivious Momo.

 

“I’m mad at you, for being so cute and changing my mood, and altering my route.” Mina sang and pushed Momo playfully by the shoulders. “What’s wrong with you, you make me sick for being so perfect, what can I do?”

 

“What can I do?” Sana joined, trying to serenade Tzuyu, who immediately rejected her; Mina sighed in relief, letting out a breathy laugh when the other Japanese girl threw herself over Momo to try and kiss her on the cheek, the latter running away around the couch to avoid the ‘Sanaconda’

 

A lot of squeals were heard then and Mina just let herself laugh at her friend’s antics.

 

“I like this song.” Tzuyu said, getting Mina’s attention. “The lyrics are cute, how the girl tried to avoid the _very obvious_ fact that she was in love.” The youngest member of Twice gave the Black Swan an uninterested look, looking at Sana still trying to kiss Momo and the latter squeaking helplessly.

 

Mina’s mind went blank, because that was a very random thing to say, especially for Tzuyu.

 

“But she should just let herself love and all that, she looks stupid trying to hide it.” The younger girl looked at her again and Mina felt a shiver up her spine, because she now sounded like she _knew something_ , but she couldn’t know anything, it was impossible because of three simple reasons:

 

First, Mina was sure she hasn’t talked about this with anyone.

 

Second, she concealed every feeling, so no one could guess.

 

Third, Tzuyu was jus-

 

“I’m sleepy unnie, I’ll go to bed and I’m taking Sana-unnie with me. Have a good night.” She said out of nowhere and Mina stood there, confused while watching the tall Taiwanese girl get close to Momo and whispering something on her ear before grabbing Sana’s arm, mumbling something about being sleepy and needing something to cling onto in bed.

 

Of course, Sana was more than happy to oblige.

 

And that left a flabbergasted Mina and a very confused Momo alone in the living room.

 

“Why did they leave? It was getting so fun.” Momo whined, grabbing Mina’s sleeve. “They didn’t even help cleaning.”

 

Mina blinked twice, and tried to convince herself Tzuyu left them alone just so she could avoid cleaning duties, but she was soon aware of Momo being so close, in the dark decorated just by silly party lights, just them both with another song filling the silence of the room. The ballerina just hummed and Momo sighed, pouting, making her way to the audio system so she could turn it off.

 

“Don’t.” She didn’t even know why, but she felt like it was a last chance. “One more song?”

 

And when ‘Some’ by Bolbbalgan4 started playing, it was like a goddamn sign from all the gods and heavens, the universe, and of course a very bored Tzuyu putting these songs in the playlist on purpose so Mina could get her head out of her butt.

 

But Mina didn’t know that so it was just coincidence playing games on her.

 

She started bobbing her head to the rhythm and Momo smiled, grabbing her hands and making her dance again; Mina was nervous, but it seemed to fade away and she was suddenly melting because Momo wouldn’t stop looking at her with those eyes.

 

Maybe it was more simple, because Momo was oblivious and there wasn’t anyone else witnessing the longing looks Mina threw in her direction, and also the fact she. _Still. Couldn’t. Stop. Smiling._

 

Momo started making silly gestures and acting the lyrics for the song and Mina just chuckled, squealing on the inside when she seemed to play push and pull with her, guiding her movements until they were holding each other and swaying from side to side in the silliest of ways.

 

It made Mina feel warm on the inside, to see Momo like that, so careless and free, just letting herself feel and do whatever crossed her mind without being concerned a bit about image or any opinion at all.

 

It was so hard not to fall for Momo’s uniqueness and colors.

 

They got to the chorus and Momo asked her to sing along, Mina gladly did and it felt like a confession, or maybe a proposition, she wasn’t entirely sure. She hoped then to be as clear as Momo’s smile, so maybe she could realize what she was trying to say.

 

Unexpectedly, it wasn’t like movies, where the protagonist would stare into their loved one eyes and say something really poetic or memorable, finally sealing the deal with a kiss under the moonlight, feeling fireworks, butterflies and a whole army on their stomachs.

 

Au contraire, it ended when the song did and Momo let out a breathy laugh, letting go of Mina’s waist and hand, turning on the lights and off all the party stuff so they could start putting everything back in place. At least they wouldn’t be reprimanded the morning after and the ballerina tried to find solace in that fact.

 

“We should do this more often, Minarin, it was fun.”

 

“Yeah, it was.” She answered softly, putting the cushions back into the couch. “It’s nice to let go for a change.”

 

“It shouldn’t.” Momo instantly responded, and the other girl frowned, a little confused.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“You say, like, let go once in a while… It’s kind of tiring to think like that, Mina, it’s like _planning_.”

 

“And that’s bad because…”

 

“Because people loses too much time of their lives trying to plan things.” She said like it was the most obvious thing in the world and Mina suddenly felt stupid.

 

“Sometimes we just have to, Momo.”

 

“It would be nice if people just did as they feel, that’s all I’m saying.”

 

“So what would you do if you could just ‘do as you feel’?” Mina asked curiously.

 

She laughed when she heard the question

 

“I already do, Minarin.”

 

Mina would be lying if she said she didn’t fell in love a little bit more with her when she heard that.

 

“So…?” Momo raised her eyebrows, with a smile on her face.

 

“So, what?” Mina asked while putting away the disco lights.

 

“What would you do if you could do as you feel?”

 

“I don’t know…” Mina laughed nervously, because her heart was already giving her a thousand answers and a little bit more. But then a hand stopped whatever she was doing and Momo’s eyes were again on her sight.

 

“Come on, there must be something. Like, right now, there must something you would really like to do, something your heart wants or just an impulse. Maybe you’d like to scream, jump, do bungee jump, swim, sing, dance, ride a dragon, get wasted, _anything?”_

 

“I don’t know” She repeated and Momo chuckled.

 

“Maybe you don’t need to know, you just have to do. Like when people are in love, they don’t think about it or tell themselves ‘be in love!’, they just are, right?”

 

“I don’t know a thing about love.” Mina said honestly, because, no, she didn’t know a thing about it.

 

“I don’t know either, but I just do.” Momo shrugged and let go of her arm, glancing around them to make sure everything was back in place and that Jihyo wouldn’t scold them again for stains on the couch or inappropriate placements for Sana’s underwear (that’s another story, and Dahyun still doesn’t recover from that one, poor thing.)

 

The gears on Mina’s head started functioning again but it was like a loop, going over and over again inside her thoughts: ‘do it, do it, do, do, do, do, do, noot, noot, do, do, do, do, do’

 

“I would really like to kiss you, Hirai Momo.” She blurted out, staring dumbly at the girl in question.

 

“Really?” She asked, smiling.

 

And it was easy as that, just Mina bringing Momo closer by the chin and kissing her, no fancy prelude or build up.

 

And it felt so good to just do, just dip her head sideways so she could deepen the contact; her hands finding Momo’s waist as easily as the other girl found her jaw. So soft and pure their hearts felt like bursting, like the clumsy tenderness of the one that has never been loved before but still has the guts to improvise; it was so paradoxically crazy and right at the same time.

 

But they existed, and they did; Mina did and did kiss her and oh boy, Momo surely knew how to make someone lose their mind with those lips of hers.

 

Her lips were so soft, so sweet that Mina felt like creating a religion out of them, and she would have cringed so much at her own thoughts if it wasn’t for the way Momo’s fingers were playing with her hair and making her forget her own name because, _damn, even her fingertips seemed to drag her thoughts out of her head._

 

When they finally let the fire in their lungs be eased by the air and their lips pulled apart, Momo kept their foreheads together and Mina was sure she felt her smiling.

 

“I like this kind of thing.” Momo whispered softly, her breath caressing her lips.

 

“What kind of thing?” She whispered back.

 

“The kind of thing that starts with two friends being something more.”  

 

Mina then smiled shyly and all those previous thoughts inside her head seemed to be so distant and stupid; like, the whole secrets of the universe were kept in Momo’s lips and the single phrase that made everything inside of Mina fall into place: _‘Do as you feel’_. Mina understood there was people that shine without being stars, that there’s silences that say so much more than thousands of words and that life was a little like that, crazy and senseless, but it wasn’t really needed to try and make a sense out of it.

 

She understood what Momo meant, and she kissed her again, and again it was perfect.

 


End file.
